So... I did my 4 days of isolation at my sister's and came home late last night. My kids were waiting in their beds to say "hi" and see that I am doing OK. I gave them a quick hug each and sat in the hallway between all of their rooms to chat with them for a few minutes. My heart hurt, just knowing I couldn't kiss them, or snuggle them. I wanted to climb in bed with them all and spend the night just holding them! My little one cried herself to sleep... it broke my heart! Guess she missed me too!

I was able to stop the low iodine diet. What a relief! The last day was the hardest! They didn't tell me that there were side effects to RAI. I woke up and couldn't breathe very well, my throat was tight, my voice very deep as if I had a bad cold and my stomach as really upset. That was fun... not! I am a few days out and I still have some swelling in my throat, guess it depends on how much thyroid tissue is left. My stomach is a little queasy at times, not sure why that is, but it is better than trying to gag down anything I have burned myself out on with the diet. I can live with it!

It's hard to remember to not do everything like normal, since I still have to be careful with what I eat on, not fixing food (oh darn!) and using the same bathroom... ect. I am totally looking forward to the next stage.... thyroid therapy!! Energy... oh, how I've missed you! I think they should give you a bracelet that can let you know when you are safe from giving anyone around you Radioactive whatever! I want something that says.... YES! You are safe to be near your little ones again! Is that too much to ask? They just send you out there with loose guidelines. I say loose because I get a different version from every source I look at! These should be standard... same for everyone who gets RAI. And, spell it out for me... in great detail! LOL!

But... for now, I will just be happy to be off my diet, I will be happy to "see" my kids, I will be happy to be home, and I will be happy to be heading towards the finish line! I am alive, I am almost well, I am surviving!!!

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It's official... I'm glowing!!

Well, It's official!! I am all a glow! I took my Radioactive Iodine pill yesterday and it was very surreal!! We went to the hospital get my dose and they tested how I was doing with the uptake dose (a very small dose given the day before). Your thyroid should take up about 5%. Mine was taking up 13.9%. That didn't seem too extreme for me... but apparently it is a big deal. They were tossing around ideas, like going back in to surgery or changing my dose and possibly having to give me a second dose in 6 months. WHAT THE CRAP?!? How could that happen? There was too much thyroid left after the last surgery.

Lucky for me, I didn't do the low iodine diet for nothing and they changed my dose. Created a new pill for me and sent it up from 30 miles away. Hopefully, it will kill what is there and I won't have to do it again... but if I do, at least I know what to expect!

After waiting, oh yeah.... and fasting! I finally got my dose at 12:30. The tech instructed us that as soon as he gives me the pill, I am radioactive... that fast! I was to hurry and take it and leave the hospital ASAP! Don't stop and chat with anyone, just get in my car and go. 7 foot distance from everyone! He took me back in a little room (after hugging my hubby one last time for the next couple days) called the "Hot Lab" and gave me my little RED pill. Crazy thing was... as soon as I swallowed it, the Radiation alarm went off! That made me feel a little weird! My hubby and I walked out... him 4-5 steps ahead of me. Like he didn't even know me... RUDE! Just kidding! I wanted him as far away from me as possible! After waving goodbye, I got in the car and left! So glad I have my Mom's old apartment to stay in. I would hate to give these harmful rays  any one, especially those I love!

After a day of following the precautions they have given me, I find that I feel just the same as I did before. It's weird... I have to remind myself why I am here! I am sending my body positive thoughts... like "DIE CANCER CELLS, DIE!!!" That's positive, right?

I am going off the iodine diet tomorrow, 48 hours after my dose. Can I just say... WAHOO!! Although, it has been much easier than I thought. Since I can cook, I have been able to alter several of the foods I already make. If I can figure out how to post recipes, I will do that! I am still new to this ;) I am certainly looking forward to a big juicy hamburger tomorrow... and maybe even some fries! I have to pace myself! I don't want to make myself sick after all of this. Here's to less cancer cells every day!!

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How did I get here?

I find myself wondering how I got to this place! How did I become a woman of 43 years with 3 children, as young as 3 years old, just enjoying my life... to having had my thyroid removed and now looking forward to Radioactive Iodine? Cancer was not supposed to hit until we were older! We are supposed be taking care of our parents. Not teaching our kids about how to help me get thru this! I started this blog to help me have a place to vent... share, talk and just put thoughts down where I could get them out and not have to worry about what not to say. If you got to this blog... welcome... and I am a little sorry you have to read my rantings!

I am surprised at how much better I feel than I thought I would. I had my surgery almost 4 weeks ago, still waiting to get my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) levels up. It seems to be taking FOREVER! My nodule was the size of a golf ball... which is crazy when the thyroid is the size of a quarter! At 3 weeks post op my TSH level was 18 and I need it to get over 30. I just hope this is the week... that I can get it done. Then I can do my low iodine diet and the RIA and be done with it!!

Let me just say one other thing... I am super tired of not having my voice at full capacity. It has gone from a whisper for the 2 weeks after the surgery to about 80 percent now. I am getting there, though... it just can't come soon enough! I miss singing to my little one at bedtime, reading to my kids, talking with my hubby at night and talking on the phone!!

I do have to say... I am grateful to be alive! I am grateful to have a fabulous surgeon that could get this done quickly and to have supportive family and friends that love me and want to help our family! I am blessed beyond measure. I don't want to be one of those people that whine all the time... just once in a while!!

Thanks for letting me get it out!